remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
