just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
