Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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