he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
