The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
