Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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