I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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