Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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