I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Are we still banned from the library?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
