are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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