I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
