So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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