Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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