I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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