I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
