i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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