Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
