no, he came in my armpit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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