I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
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