Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
