No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
