ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
