I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize