piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
