He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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