Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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