I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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