so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
