guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
