so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize