So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
