Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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