U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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