Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
