DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
A bitchslap is in order.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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