Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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