You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
