Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
