dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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