Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
