sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
