I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize