she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
