oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
