He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
God I need to hump something, right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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