I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
