just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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