glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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