you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
