I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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