I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
