We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
