in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
