he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
