party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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