Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize