Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
