he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
where are my eyebrows?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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