i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
