Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
