Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
only you would photoshop your dick
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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