Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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