I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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