Define "chronic" masturbator.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
